by:nancybinspired
Table of Contents
- Intro
- Own Your Choice (With Confidence)
- Be The Hype Person
- Offer An Alternative Contribution
- Channel Your Inner Sociologist
- Lean Into Conversations Instead
- Have A Back-Up Plan If Pressured
- Why Opting Out Can Still Be Festive
- Summary
Intro
Ah, the office Christmas Party. A festive gathering full of holiday cheer, questionable sweater choices, over the top tacky cube decorations and, of course, the games. Whether it’s the dreaded White Elephant gift exchange, a holiday trivia showdown, or yet another round of “guess whose baby picture this is,” these party staples seem to bring out two types of people: the overly enthusiastic joiners and the rest of us.
If you’re reading this, chances are you belong to the latter camp, and you’re not alone. Maybe you find gift exchanges stressful, or cringe at the idea of unwrapping a used lava lamp in front of your boss. You fret over faking fun and being excited about the gift. (You don’t do poker face well). Whatever the reason, I’m here to say: It’s okay not to love party games! You can still show up, stay true to yourself and even have fun without playing along.
Here’s how:
Own Your Choice (With Confidence)
First, let’s tackle the fear of showing up giftless to a White Elephant Exchange. (I’ve done this twice in as many days of writing this blog, hee, hee) People may gasp and someone might say “oh we have an extra gift just in case, you can still play”. Others might ask why you’re not participating, but remember: you’re a grown adult with boundaries. Your response?
This was my response:
‘I don’t like this game, I’m not a fan of it, I’m more of a secret Santa gift giver. I don’t like having gifts stolen”
Your could say:
“Oh, I’m here for the snacks/desserts and the people- White Elephant game is not my thing, but I’m loving watching everyone else!”
Just be honest. However you respond, be confident in it. I was offered a gift to play, I still declined, “no thank you, I’m good.” (even though I got the disappointed look, I held strong in my decision not to play without making anyone feel uncomfortable for trying to entice me.”
Your honest confident response is lighthearted and let’s people know you’re opting out, not sulking in the corner.
Be The Hype Person
You might not be playing, but that doesn’t mean you can’t join in the fun as an observer. Cheer people on as they sway gifts, gasp dramatically at the gag gifts, or playfylly suggest who really deserves that necktie with blinking LED lights.
When you engage as a spectator, you can enjoy the camaraderie without participating. Plus your over-the-top enthusiasm might just make you the life of the party-no gift required.
Or you can subtly cheer folks on like me. I’m not loud, but I participate in the humor and comment on gifts and swaps.
Offer An Alternative Instead
If you want to contribute to the party maybe you could be the person who puts the numbers in the bowl and walks around for everyone to choose. Maybe you could set up the gift table and you could be the person to keep everyone in check with the rules. How many swaps, first person has last option, etc.
Are you a person who like to plan and organize events? You could order the food, plan the menu, pick up the goodies. There’s always room for a planner and event organizer in the office.
Be creative in whatever you offer to do that feels authentic to you. If you’re like me, I just sat and watched the shenanigan amd felt compeletely comfortable with my decision.
.
Channel Your Inner Socialogist
There’s a sweet spot for everyone. Whether you’re a introvert (which you most likely are if you’re sitting this game out) or not, there’s always room for socializing. As for me, I just held conversations with the folks I was sitting next too. I commented on the turn, gift selection and if it got stolen I acknowledged their stragegy. This way you’re participating, but in a smaller way.
Lean Into Conversations Instead
You’ll be surprised that you’re probably not the only one who doesn’t care for the White Elephant game if you work in a big office, or not. People nowadays don’t feel pressured to do what they are not interested in and therefore, you’ll find company in the spectator space. Embrace it, have conversations and network while also paying attention the the happening with the game.
Have a Backup Plan If You Feel Pressured
For me the backup plan is my truth. If people try to get me to play, I’m truthful about why I don’t want to play, but there for the fun. I actually had someone say “Nancy, we have a extra gift on purpose so you can play”. I respectfully declined and said “it’s not about having a gift for me, I’m good, thank you.” Be ready to respond because mostly likely the extroverts are going to try to coerce you to play.
Why Opting Out Can Still Be Festive
Even though you’re opting out of playing the game, you can still be festive. You can wear festive attire or earrings like me and still partake. You can join in and eat the food (if any) and have conversations. Remember, it’s not about the game as it is showing up. Showing up, proves you’re there for the people, socialization, not the game. Believe it or not, folks are actually impressed with that kind of confidence.
Summary
Since this topic is close to me and my work experience, I had to write a blog to help others in the same predicament. It can feel awkward getting that invitation to join the “white elephant” party, (when you’re the only one rolling your eyes about it), but don’t want to be the office grinch.
I am totally not a fan of this game whatsoever, never have been and hold steadfast in not playing, but I do show up. I interact with my colleagues and enjoy watching their strategy playing the game. So don’t feel pressured and play because you feel uncomfortable saying no. Just say it’s not your thing, but you’ll be there just the same.
So the next time you get that email with “White Elephant” exchange in the subject line, you’ll be prepared to respectfully decline to participate, but happy to attend. Offer to bring food, or help planning. Offer your services to whatever capacity you feel comfortable. As for me, I just show up and contribute financially to the food served.
May your office parties be Merry and Bright this holiday season.
Leave a Reply